For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
