Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
