So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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