Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
