I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize