sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
