No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
