Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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