ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
