Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
is wine microwaveable?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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