Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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