what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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