Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
