i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
