she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I will pee on everything he values.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
