I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
