2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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