It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
