For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
