hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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