you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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