HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
