so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
