I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
