so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
