for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
50% drunk capacity currently
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
