did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
