I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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