So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's rum buckets o'clock
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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