She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
