Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
