We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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