Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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