Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
