jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
