we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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