everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
