Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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