I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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