No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
