I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
