Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize