why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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