what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
