Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she smelled like a LAN party
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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