2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
