She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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