It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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