Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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