I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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