i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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