My nipple is on Facebook.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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