it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
