New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
