I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
